What to wear

When in doubt, choose conservative clothing that shows respect for the family. Black isn’t always necessary, but try to avoid bright colors or flashy patterns. Men typically wear suits or slacks with a collared shirt, while women often choose a dress, skirt, or pants with a blouse. In some cases, the family may request specific attire, such as casual clothing or something that reflects the personality of the deceased. Different communities and religions have unique customs and it can be helpful to ask about any special considerations beforehand. We are happy to answer your questions and direct you to resources for specific traditions.

Arriving at the funeral

It is respectful to arrive at least 10-15 minutes before the service begins. This allows you to find a seat and settle in before the ceremony begins. If you arrive late, try to enter quietly and take a seat near the back to avoid disrupting the service. Be mindful to silence your cell phone and refrain from using any electronic devices during the service.

Paying your respects

At services with an open casket, you may choose to view the deceased and spend a moment in silent reflection. This is entirely an option, so do what feels comfortable to you.

Offering condolences

If you have the opportunity to speak with the family, you can offer your sympathy with an embrace or a handshake. Feel free to talk about the deceased if it seems appropriate - sharing memories can help the grieving process. Avoid asking too many personal questions or talking for an extended period. The family may be overwhelmed, so brief, sincere words are usually appreciated.

How to act

After offering condolences, it is appropriate to have quiet conversations with other attendees. You do not need to stay longer than you are comfortable, your presence alone is meaningful to the family. Funerals are emotional, and it is natural to grieve. Don’t worry if you or others cry. However, if you are feeling overwhelmed, it is best to step out briefly to avoid adding strain to the family.

Signing the register

Sign the guest book using your full name so the family can recognize you later. You may also include how you knew the deceased, such as through work or social connections.

Flowers and gifts

Sending flowers, donating, or giving a memorial gift are thoughtful ways to show you are thinking of the family. Even the simplest gestures can offer great comfort when words fall short.

Obey the hours

Most cemeteries are open from dawn to dusk unless otherwise posted. To prevent trespassing, avoid staying after the posted hours.

Follow the rules

Check for posted signs near the entrance, as each cemetery may have specific rules, including decoration and floral regulations. Be sure to follow them.

Respect the graves

Be careful not to step directly on graves. Instead, walk along designated paths and avoid cutting through burial plots. Treat headstones, monuments, and memorials with care, as they are meaningful to the families of the deceased. Refrain from touching monuments or headstones, as this is disrespectful and can cause damage. Never remove items left on graves, such as flowers, coins, or tributes that have been left by family members.

Don't leave trash behind

Dispose of trash in designated bins, or take it with you if none are available. Littering disrespects both visitors and those buried.

Respect services and mourners

It is important to maintain a quiet and respectable demeanor. Speak softly, avoid loud conversations, and refrain from using inappropriate language. Avoid interfering with funerals or mourners visiting gravesites. Never take photos of strangers at a funeral or gravesite - it is a private moment, and their privacy should be respected.

Look after your children

If children accompany you, explain the importance of being respectful in the cemetery and ensure they behave accordingly. Keep them from running, yelling, or climbing on graves and monuments.

Leash your pets

Before bringing your pet, check if the cemetery allows animals on the grounds. If permitted, ensure they are kept on a leash at all times. Be mindful of where your pet walks - avoid allowing them near graves. Always clean up after your pet and ensure they do not relieve themselves on or near gravesites.